a couple of years ago

Down ‘n’ Out in TrollTown

OK. So we admits it. We trolls are sensitive creatures. Truly we are. Beyond the armor-like skin and claws and fangs, we’re all soft ‘n’ gushy inside — just like the rest of ya. ‘S true! Even with constitutions like granite and the regenerative abilities of frogs on grak (that’s a cross between grog and crack, for you ig’nant provincials), we still get hurt, and hurt inside. Aw. Yeah. I know…

Poor, poor baby.

But here’s the thing. We rolled out our free dungeon tiles — two sets of ’em — to a resounding THUD last year. Kinda like the sound a beheaded ogre makes as its 800 pounds of suet flops onto a flagstone. And just as lovely.

I mean, we even did a freakin’ press release, people. What the hell MORE do ya want? We had to get a scribe conversant in English, of all things! Fer God sakes! Grrrrr…

But nothin’ happened. Nope. Nothin’. Snif.

From which we concluded — if you can’t give away free freakin’ stuff, you either smell really, really bad (which we did consider as a possibility), or your goods ain’t that good. Either way, we’re fug’n fugged, right?

So, being the typical trolls and seeing the glass as not just half empty, but a soon-to-be-smashed bit o’ crockery that will never hold an ounce of liquid (or liquor) again (snif), we figured A) notroll cared, and B) no surprise. Just ’cause we thought it was a good idea, didn’t mean anytroll else would. Or could. Or did. Or does.

To which we said: Fug it!

And then went back to slayin’ elves and enslavin’ goblins. Or was it the reverse? I can’t seem recall. Hmmmmmm…

Weeks, then months, went by. Fumbleweeds blew through. Crickets the size of TrollTown roaches were heard. Continuously.

It was enough to make a full-grown troll cry. Or possibly fly into a homicidal rage (or three). Not sayin’ that happened of course. No charges were brought by the Magustrate, though there were fines. Many fines.

Cavern Dungeon Tiles Coming SoonThen somethin’ strange happened…

We got a patron! A for-real, doesn’t actually know us, wants what we got and pony’s up the dough kinda patron. Hot damn!

And then, suddenly this month, we got several more. Great Troll Gods!

I guess we are going to have to get the dungeon tile craftstrolls come back from their self-imposed exile of angst, shame and self-loathing (even more so than usual) in the Fetid Swamps, get the goblins back from the Ghoria (“dwarf town”), rough-hewing the granite again for us instead of them, and fire up the elemental forge afresh (luckily we’ve got some elvish souls in a jar).

TrollTown is back, baby! At least tentatively. We’ll see what happens with the excitement and grak wears off…

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